i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
