Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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(571): View more from Virginia

You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Darwin at his finest.

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(619): View more from California

Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..

(1-619): View more from California

I am not bailing you of of jail

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just found puke in my bra..

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(330): View more from Ohio

he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants

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(860): View more from Connecticut

part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina

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