so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
