listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize