He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
