Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
