Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
