I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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