She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
