Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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