Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
