You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
