she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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