I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
