I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
