The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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