I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
And then he peed in my hair
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