I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
