So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
