Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
