you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
