so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
