I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
