If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm both gender and math confused
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
