Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
