I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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