He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
