I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
