he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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