i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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