I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I understand Curling. That high.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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