I showed him my bush... on skype.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
