I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize