that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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