Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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