I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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