she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
