Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
