I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize