Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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