day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
