yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
