I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
