i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
