Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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