Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
