She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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