Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize