if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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