Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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