my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize