i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
