My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
