I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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