I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
