your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
