Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
