I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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