I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
