So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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