Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
