Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
