What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
