Someone shit on the floor
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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