Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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