I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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