you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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