i just had sex bonerless
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
