like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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